Elise's 12 Days of Christmas

Since USPS and UPS decided to stretch out how long my Christmas was this year, I thought I'd rewrite the 12 Days of Christmas to better fit what happened to me this year.



On the first day of Christmas (mid-December), Jill gave to me a box full of sweet-smelling soaps.



On the second day of Christmas (mid-December), my Secret Santa game to me a strange bobblehead and a Oregon State T-shirt.



On the third day of Christmas (Dec. 23), Drew gave to me a mix CD full of chick singer-songwriters.



On the fourth day of Christmas (Dec. 24), Milton gave to me two jazz CDs.



On the fifth day of Christmas (Dec. 25), my parents gave to me all my great-grandmother's crystal.

(Really, I have NO idea what to do with it.)



On the sixth day of Christmas (Dec. 27), my sister gave to me a hand-painted platter.



On the seventh day of Christmas (Dec. 29), Susan gave to me a Twilight ring.



On the eighth day of Christmas (Dec. 30), Mike gave to me two pink oven mitts.



On the ninth day of Christmas (Dec. 31), I gave to me two awesomely cool DVDs.



On the tenth day of Christmas (Jan. 2), my brother gave to me a bunch of homemade smelly stuff.



On the eleventh day of Christmas (Jan. 2), my sister-in-law gave to me a cool, handbeaded necklace.



On the twelfth day of Christmas (Jan. 6), my derelict sister gave to me a nice warm sweater (and some fuzzy socks).

Snow, snow, snow

We've had 19 inches of snow this month, 19 inches in the Great Basin. You know, like the high desert.

My car does not like this snow. It bottoms out, pouts when I try to make it go and is generally a pissy little brat.

The other people on the road. . . well, they are of the opinion that if you have an SUV or 4-wheel drive, you can still go 70. Um, NO, you can't, dumbasses.

The state didn't even plow today, and we got like six inches.

Idiots, I am surrounded by snow idiots here in Idaho. I'm moving back to Montana!

F the USPS!!!!!!!

So it's been 12 days since I shipped my family's Christmas presents, and they still have yet to arrive.

Three months of crafting and it's lost in some no-man's land. Of course I shipped it by parcel post, so there's no tracking number, no way to check to see what the fuck the idiots whose job it is to safely get stuff from point A to point B have done with it.

To make it worse, my family's doing Christmas this weekend, so I don't have time to go buy presents for nine people and overnight it there in time, especially since I'm broke and don't get paid until Thursday.

Anyway, I hope the USPS dies. That is all.

The happiest songs on my iPod

Why not? I mean given that I've already done the saddest ones and all :D

10) Die Alone -- Ingrid Michealson. OK, on the surface, I guess this one doesn't seem so happy, but given how much her lyrics seem to describe me, I find it incredibly hopeful, and that makes me happy!



9) This grudge -- Alanis. Letting go of the pain of the past makes for much happier times.



8) Pour Some Sugar on Me -- Def Lep. Just for Jerry, plus the song makes me really giggly, not as happy as a song that will appear later from the boys from Sheffield, but happy nonetheless. (For the record, I like the UK video better, so that's what y'all get!)



7) Call Me When You're Sober -- Evanescence. No list of mine is complete without Amy Lee, plus this song is such a great FU to a certain type of man.



6. Hella Good -- No Doubt. The first, but not the last appearence by the Orange County band on this list. There are few bands that made music that made me feel better or more like dancing around my apartment like a fool.



5. It's My Life -- Bon Jovi. Yea, it's a blatent ripoff of one of their earlier songs, but the lyrics are more upbeat!



4) Me and My Wine -- Def Lep. A rarity in the U.S., but the vid is hilarious.



3) The Saga Begins -- Weird Al. The idea of taking American Pie and making it about Star Wars was sheer genius.

Sorry, I can only link to this. Embedding is banned!

2) Ex-Girlfriend -- No Doubt. Maybe not a happy song per se, but it is for me. Plus Gwen has pink hair, and that's hot!



And the happiest song on Elise's iPod?

1) Semi-Charmed Life -- Third Eye Blind. Is it happy? Who knows. Is it catchy? Hells yes. Do I have wonderful memories of Greg and I moshing (or something similar) to it at the Cheese in college? Hell fucking yea.

Grad school

GRE? Check, 1210

Application? Check, submitted Friday

Transcripts? Check, submitted before Thanksgiving

Personal statement? Check, submitted with application

Writing sample? Um, no.

I last wrote a research paper in 2000. That was eight years and at least three, maybe four, computers ago. Yet, I need to have one to complete my supplementary material for my application to Maryland.

Even if I did have any hard copies left, they'd be in my mother's attic -- 2500 miles away.

I'm really beginning to think that schools don't want "nontraditional" grad students. Otherwise, my lovely newsletter story about the Boise rescue mission would be sufficient!

Guilty pleasures

I insist that I'm an intellectual. I like all the standard intellectual things: red wine, subtitled movies, female singer-songwriters with "deep" lyrics, Rachel Maddow.

I, however, have guilty pleasaures that continue to show my not-so-intellectual side.

1) Britney Spears: Come on, who doesn't bop their head up and down to most of her stuff. Sure she's certifiable, has a middling voice at best and is incapable of writing a song, but I'm not taking her off my iPod, regardless of what you say!

2) Jersey Girl: It's the Keven Smith movie Kevin Smith fans like to pretend doesn't exist. I've hidden the DVD in my bedroom where nobody can see it, but I've watched it enough that I'm on my second copy of said DVD. Ben is cute, the little girl is adorable and Liv and Carlin are amazing. Sure there's no Jay, but it's a damned cute movie.

3) The Girls Next Door: Yes, it's about Hugh Hefner's girlfriend. Yes, I think the continued Playboyization of society is a problem. Yes, the entire show is about women using their sexuality to get ahead. Yes, two of the girls (Holly and Bridget) play dumb, despite being both educated and whip smart. Yes, its a celebration of trophy girlfriends/wives. At the same time, watching how the women use their wiles to control Hef and make their marks on the magazine gives me a lot of joy.

4) Hot Pockets and Bud Light. Mmmmm, yummie!

Saddest songs on my iPod

I saw some Yahoo music blog that rated the 25 saddest songs of all-time. Now, I can't say I agree with all their choices, but it gave me an idea. What are the 10 saddest songs on my iPod?

Starting with No. 10, here they are!

10. "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. Massive hit my sophomore or junior year of college. We all wanted to be Gwen Stefani.



9. "This Used to be my Playground" by Madonna. Nothing like using a song about HIV/AIDS in the club scene in New York as the theme for a movie about The All-American Girls Baseball League, but its haunting lyrics suited the movie's ending well, esp. for those of us who had no clue about NYC clubs. Truthfully, I could fill this entire list with Madonna songs.



8. "Broken" by Seether featuring Amy Lee. Amy makes her first, but certainly not her last appearance on my list.



7. "Mix Tape" by Butch Walker. We've all been through this right? The "friend" that you really wish was a hella lot more, but you settle for friendship so they stay in your life.



6. "Hurt" by Johnny Cash. Technically about heroin abuse (yet another recurring theme on this list, along with Amy Lee), but Cash's version was about so much more than that given that he recorded it close to the end of his life.



5. "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Amy Lee's second appearance. Sometimes a particular person just won't leave your thoughts, and you find yourself unable to move forward. You're stuck. The past is the past, but you're not nearly ready for the future yet.



4. "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. Perhaps the having the experience and then losing it is better than never having it, but it still hurts.



3. "I Wish I Wasn't" by Heather Headley. A strange choice for me. No guitars, just a woman with a powerhouse voice pouring out her pain.



2. "I can't make you love me" by Bonnie Raitt. This was so close to being the saddest song of all time on my iPod, but a three-way tie for saddest seemed really silly!



1B. "Better than Me" by Hinder. It's not the song per se, but rather the video. It hits way too fucking close to home for me.



1A. "Me and a Gun" by Tori Amos. No comment needed.



And yes, like the Big Ten, I can't count and really have 11 songs. Bite me!