Thursday, October 30, 2008

Poor Rays

My white-trash, future baby daddy will not be the owner of a World Series ring after all.

I was on the Rays bandwagon for one reason -- James Shields. After my buddy Jerry insisted I pick him up last year for fantasy baseball, and he pitched my baseball ignorant ass to a second place finish, I was hooked!

Sadly for Mr. Shields, his teammates choked, and let the Phillies run away with the World Series.

My man did his part, pitching the Rays to their lone win of the Series in Game 2.

The rest of them . . . bah, humbug! Terrible! Bats that blasted homer after homer fell silent. The staff ace forgot how to throw a strike. And I could have handled the pitching better than the Rays manager Maddon (Price, you asshat, Price . . . use him, dammit!).

It's too bad I cannot be in Florida to comfort poor Mr. Shields. I'm sure he'd like nothing more than to make me the mother of his next illegitimate child :)

I mean how can not love this guy?

Monday, October 27, 2008

SG seeks a wife

I don't even know where to begin with this one.

Someone sent me this blog, and really I think it speaks for itself. Who am I to comment or try to explain the tought process of someone who is clearly far superior to me in intellect?

Although I will say this, I've done the checklist thing to decide what guy to date and it never turns out well.

PS: The women he mentions on his top friends as women he would marry: Kate Moss and Helena Christensen . . . um, yea. Right, and Hugh Jackman is leaving his wife for me.

EDIT: Why did nobody tell the link was wrong? Losers!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Hey, I put some new shoes on . . .

and suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on
and everybody's smiling,
it's so inviting,

-- New shoes, Paulo Nutini

I didn't intend to buy shoes, especially not irridescent emerald Jessica Simpson Mary Janes.

I needed some winter clothes, not pretty shoes that match nothing.

I got some clothes, true, but the best purchase of my Saturday brave-the-mall shopping trip was the shoes. They match nothing I own. They'll be hard to wear with anything other than black. But they put me in a fantastically good mood today, although it might have been the really cute shoe salesman.

Not only are the shoes pretty and able to make me feel good, they were on sale too (not to mention they possess a reasonable 1 1/2 inch heel, so mom'll be happy)! And I got sticky notes with Jessica's fake signature on them, so I can pretend to leave notes from the desk of Jessica Simpson (and yes, I realize she's vapid, but she's fun, dammit!).

And just because, here's the video to Mr. Nutini's song.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

"If you're ignored long enough, you just go with the first guy who pays attention to you." -- Norah

Sometimes you go to see a flick and somebody on screen is so much like you that she dredges up long buried feelings and memories.

Norah did that for me. I could see my 16-year-old self up on screen, down to the hair cut (long, straight, parted in the middle, yea, some things never change).

Her insecurity about her looks, the pretty girl making fun of her for being smart and her love of music and the men who make it were all things I dealt with at that age.

By the time I was her age, I was convinced I was ugly and no guy would ever really love me because of it -- no matter how much my HS boyfriends tried to convince me otherwise. I still struggle with how I feel about my looks. I get uncomfortable when I'm told I'm pretty or cute or in any other way physically attractive. Granted, there are a lot of reasons for this -- father issues, a sexual assault, being brought up to value intelligence in a part of the country that looks down on it.

In college, I did embrace being the smart girl, and I love it when I'm complimented for my brain power. In fact, I think I'm drawn to not-very-bright guys because they reinforce that I'm intelligent (not to mention that a lot of them are uber impressed by the fact I've multiple college degrees and that makes me feel good too).

All those memories came rushing back as I watched the flick, and what should have been a fun, 80s-inspired teen flick got heavy and I started crying when Norah said the ignore line. It hit a little too close to home.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Another obsession

I am obsessed with crime shows.

Not those CSI, Law & Order and Cold Case type shows, but true crime shows on A&E and TruTV.

I can easily waste an entire day on the couch watching them, even ones that I've already seen. I especially like the ones on A&E that Bill Kurtis narrates (Have you seen his commercial with Michael Phelps? It's fantastic!).

My roommate came home the other day while I was in the throes of another Bill Kurtis marathon on A&E and sat down to watch with me.

About 20 minutes in, he turns to me and says, "My ex-wife used to love these shows too. Must be a woman thing."

Ha! I'd say he's right, but I know too many men who like them too.

Friday, October 17, 2008

The death of my boots

My fuck-me boots are dead.

Before I started to lose weight, a pair of knee-high boots with a heel (in this case about 3 1/2 inches) was a pipe dream. My calves were just too fat to find a pair that would zip up.

The day I tried a pair on and they zipped was one of the best days of my life, at least shoppingwise :)

But now, the first major purchase that symbolized my weight loss is now too big. The calves of the boots are so streched out that they slipped from my knee to about mid-calf while I was wearing them last night. They are simply too uncomfortable to continue to wear.

I can look at this two ways. 1) Boo hoo! My boots don't fit. 2) Yee haw! My boots don't fit cause I'm even thinner and now I have an excuse to go shopping for some better ones!

I'm gonna go with option two and hit the shoe stores next week.

Beer Blogging

(For the record, three beers. Not drunk, but I feel really good)

1. Why does Cindy McCain own the exact same sack dress in every pastel color?

2. Why do cats squeak?

3. Why do I find Keith Olbermann attractive? He's not my time. He's old, smarmy and of normal weight.

4. Why isn't Michelle Obama the one running?

5. The Mountain West may expand. Boise State could be who it takes. Could the MWC take the ACC's spot among BCS conferences?

6. The Flyers are winless. Is it Sarah Palin's fault?

7. When did West Virginia become a solid red state?

8. Did you know Montana ranks among the top 10 states in terms of education level? Who knew? No wonder I can't find anybody to date here.

9. I miss Charles Schultz. He was an amazing, hockey-loving man. Without him, how do I know what Charlie Brown is doing for Halloween?

10. I've been obsessed with Janet Jackson's "Janet" CD. If may be the sexiest song ever and This Time is a woman's anthem. How did I miss it when it came out?

Friday, October 10, 2008

OMG, he's nekkid and hairy! (updated with photo!)

During a particularly strange period of my dating life, I went out with an extremely young (like 20) Mormon, Levi Smith.

It was a fun time, but like most fun times it had to end, mostly because he really wanted to get married and, well, I just wasn't feeling it with him. So he ditched me and took up with ex and, allegedly, married her.

I hadn't heard from him for almost two years, until about 10 weeks ago when he IMd me and asked if I'd come over and have sex.

So I told him I had a boyfriend. He kept pressing. I told him I wasn't interested. He wasn't having it.

Then, I got an e-mail from him, an e-mail that contained naked pictures of him. I did not ask for these. I did not want to see these. He knows that completely naked pictures of guys don't do much for me (now shirtless pictures of guys in low-slung pants where you can see the "V" are a completely different story). Yet, there in my inbox were naked pictures of him, and he was hairy, really hairy, like Burt Reynolds in the 70s posing for the Cosmo centerfold hairy. I wanted to cry, puke and gouge my eyes out all at once.

Then, my IM starts flashing because he's turned on his Web cam. Again, he's naked and hairy and gross. As for me, I am forever traumatized by the sight.


Yea, so Levi looked like that picture of Burt, only much skinnier. (shivers!)

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Skinnier days are ahead!

So while I was getting ready for work today, I realized I was skinny.

Well, as skinny as I've been since after my freshman year of college (it's all relative, right?). My cute, plaid, goth, Catholic schoolgirlish skirt, which has always been too tight, was loose, loose enough that if not for the fact I have a ghetto booty, it would have been puddled down around my heels instead of being remotely close to where it belonged.

Not only that, my shirt, again it's always been tight, fit correctly around my tummy, no muffin top, no VFR (visible fat roll), no nothing!

It was a fantastic feeling. I wanted nothing more than to head out to someplace cool in my fake, goth Catholic schoolgirlish look, but alas, I had to go to work.

Next Monday though, next Monday, I'm wearing my new skinny look out someplace cool.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Democratic porn!

Sorry, folks, no nekkid girls here.

Dems aren't the type to trot out a hot chick (Hi, Gov. Palin!) to try to win votes. Might be to our detriment at times, but in times such as these, it makes us look more grounded, serious and, well, presidential :)

Back on topic, my favorite Web site has Obama with an 89.2 percent chance of winning the election. Nate Silver, the adorable if slightly dorky guy who runs the site, also has Obama winning more than 345 electoral college votes.

I'm beginning to get the same feeling I had when Clinton won the first time. It's going to be a victory for the guy most people knew nothing about when the campaigning started, the man who seems to have some sort coating that makes negative attacks (Ayers, Wright, Rezko) slide right off and make his opponent look bad, the man who's capable of exciting younglings and getting them out to vote, the man who's capable of inspiring hope in a depressed electorate.

Monday, October 6, 2008

My letter to

Yea, so I'm done with All that's left is to get my $100 refunded. I'm not paying to have fat, gross, unemployed, still-living-at-home-with-mommy college dropouts to hit on me. I can get that for free elsewhere.

I am extremely disappointed in my experience at

I have been a paying member for about a week, and have only received one response – and it was from somebody who was so completely inappropriate (he was overweight, unemployed and still living at home with his parents in California) for me that it has become a subject of humor between my friends and I.

I have moved more than 30 men into my “active matches,” nudged several of those after a few days, and I still have yet to receive any sort of a response from any of the men you have sent me as a match.

I can have inappropriate men express interest in me and good guys ignore me for free at the grocery store.

I don’t think it is unrealistic to expect some sort of response from a match who meets my basic criteria within a week’s time.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Three weeks of PMS

So I went back-to-back with my pill so I wouldn't be on my period when I went to San Diego. I'm now not so sure it was worth it.

Granted, it's much more comfortable to wear a bathing suit when you're not on your period, but the other stuff just may not be worth it.

My boobs now have been sore for two weeks with a least another week to go. I'm bloated, grumpy and constantly hungry.

I'm also bawling at the drop of a hat. Like today, I heard that stupid "With nothing but your t-shirt on" song, and I just started crying in the middle of the store. Now granted, I've had a bit of a disappointing month on the relationship front, but NOTHING so bad that it should be causing me to cry in the middle of Target to a shitty pop song.

And the breakup scene in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," you know the one with the guy wandering around nekkid that's hilarious, yea, that made me bawl too.

And I still have another week of this shit!

Friday, October 3, 2008

I so need new clothes :)

The plateau is over.

Apparently my little trip to San Diego was just the kick in the ass my weight loss needed, 'cause I'm down three pounds in the last week and a half. Woo hoo!

Of course, this brings into clearer focus the clothing issue. I now own about 5 shirts that fit right and I'm in between sizes when it comes to jeans (16s are a bit loose and 14s are muffin-top jeans).

Given the number of ruffles and the lack of empire waists this season, there simply aren't clothes that I want to own out there. None of it's flattering, and most of it just makes me continue to look fat.

I can wear skirts to combat the pant issue, but the shirt thing is difficult. I look fantastic in empire waists, but those are so last year.

Stupid fashion designers. Always changing the rules.