"If you're ignored long enough, you just go with the first guy who pays attention to you." -- Norah
Sometimes you go to see a flick and somebody on screen is so much like you that she dredges up long buried feelings and memories.
Norah did that for me. I could see my 16-year-old self up on screen, down to the hair cut (long, straight, parted in the middle, yea, some things never change).
Her insecurity about her looks, the pretty girl making fun of her for being smart and her love of music and the men who make it were all things I dealt with at that age.
By the time I was her age, I was convinced I was ugly and no guy would ever really love me because of it -- no matter how much my HS boyfriends tried to convince me otherwise. I still struggle with how I feel about my looks. I get uncomfortable when I'm told I'm pretty or cute or in any other way physically attractive. Granted, there are a lot of reasons for this -- father issues, a sexual assault, being brought up to value intelligence in a part of the country that looks down on it.
In college, I did embrace being the smart girl, and I love it when I'm complimented for my brain power. In fact, I think I'm drawn to not-very-bright guys because they reinforce that I'm intelligent (not to mention that a lot of them are uber impressed by the fact I've multiple college degrees and that makes me feel good too).
All those memories came rushing back as I watched the flick, and what should have been a fun, 80s-inspired teen flick got heavy and I started crying when Norah said the ignore line. It hit a little too close to home.
Significant Digits For Thursday, Oct. 19, 2017
3 hours ago